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Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in jane.'s LiveJournal:

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    Tuesday, September 1st, 2020
    10:45 pm
    billboard hot 100 reviews index
    i am making this page to make it easier to get to all the hot 100 reviews. check back here for more as they come:

    indexCollapse )
    Monday, July 27th, 2020
    10:48 am
    women in music
    a random comment mentioning that a person could name ten better female singers than britney spears inspired a joke where i took that to mean the person thought britney was the 11th best female singer, and took them to task for ranking her so high (i joked she might make my top 100, but barely--fact is, she makes the top 500... somewhere).

    so i decided to make a list. originally, it was going to be the top 101, because i love that number. but in making it, i realized, i was leaving too much out. instead, i think i will take this condensed 257 or so list that i have and just write about them all, in chunks. so once a day for the next month or so, i will be taking a selection of these artists and writing about them. this post will serve as a table of contents, to be updated each time i make a post.

    it should be noted that i focused on vocalists originally, and i intend to keep it within that framework. as such, certain female musicians who are not vocalists are not included. this means no clara rockmore, pauline olivieros, or other instrumentalists.

    the following is not set in stone:

    part 1: dance music
    part 2: internationale
    part 3: the tradition
    part 4: the legends
    part 5: indie girls and dream pop
    part 6: women of rap
    part 7: rockin' growls and punk screams
    part 8: experimental vocals
    part 9: pop stars and afterthoughts
    part 10: country twang
    part 11: buttered soul
    part 12: sylph music
    part 13: girl pop
    part 14: the blues and gospel
    part 15: top ten
    Friday, April 17th, 2015
    7:50 am
    the definitive ranking of queen's 52 us/uk hit singles:
    52. a winter's tale
    51. thank god it's christmas
    50. back chat
    49. heaven for everyone
    48. spread your wings
    47. headlong
    46. you don't fool me
    45. no one but you (only the good die young)
    44. i want it all
    43. scandal
    42. the show must go on
    41. now i'm here
    40. body language
    39. radio ga ga
    38. these are the days of our lives
    37. breakthru
    36. who wants to live forever
    35. las palabras de amor (words of love)
    34. too much love will kill you
    33. i'm going slightly mad
    31 (tie). we are the champions / we will rock you
    30. it's late
    29. another one bites the dust
    28. the miracle
    27. the invisible man
    26. let me live
    25. love of my life (live)
    24. calling all girls
    23. seven seas of rhye
    22. fat bottomed girls
    21. innuendo
    20. friends will be friends
    19. play the game
    18. flick of the wrist
    17. tie your mother down
    16. a kind of magic
    15. one vision
    14. flash
    13. hammer to fall
    12. bohemian rhapsody
    11. crazy little thing called love
    10. save me
    09. killer queen
    08. it's a hard life
    07. bicycle race
    06. under pressure
    05. don't stop me now
    04. somebody to love
    03. you're my best friend
    02. i want to break free
    01. good old fashioned lover boy
    Thursday, March 12th, 2015
    8:49 pm
    Thursday, March 5th, 2015
    8:12 am
    i need new icons.
    Friday, February 27th, 2015
    11:46 pm
    if wishes were horses
    i'd have horses, but i'd still not be a fetal pig soaked in preserving fluids.
    Tuesday, February 17th, 2015
    7:15 pm
    happy mardi gras
    i miss you, livejournal.
    Monday, February 9th, 2015
    11:56 pm
    101 best films of the 1960s
    101. mclintock!
    100. lawrence of arabia
    99. repulsion
    98. the innocents
    97. the golden fern
    96. late autumn
    95. the big gundown
    94. the cremator
    93. masculin feminin
    92. the good, the bad, and the ugly
    91. kuroneko
    90. pitfall

    89. the sadist
    88. a hard day's night
    87. twice a man
    86. the collector
    85. visual training
    84. stolen kisses
    83. the italian job
    82. porcile
    81. the magnificent seven
    80. a game with stones
    79. winter light
    78. wavelength
    77. who are you, polly maggoo?
    76. gate of flesh
    75. butch cassidy and the sundance kid
    74. l'immortelle
    73. quixote
    72. army of shadows
    71. head
    70. we eat the fruit of the trees of paradise

    69. a fugitive from the past
    68. the lion in winter
    67. our lady of the turks
    66. when a woman ascends the stairs
    65. the umbrellas of cherbourg
    64. band of outsiders
    63. titicut follies
    62. 7 women
    61. vivian
    60. cleo from 5 to 7
    59. they shoot horses, don't they?
    58. gertrud
    57. la jetee
    56. le samourai
    55. the insect woman
    54. black sunday
    53. a fan
    52. fata/morgana
    51. the white rose
    50. scattered clouds

    49. normal love
    48. dragon inn
    47. the man who lies
    46. le bonheur
    45. teorema
    44. red angel
    43. nanami: the inferno of first love
    42. report
    41. barbarella
    40. the music man
    39. mary poppins
    38. the young girls of rochefort
    37. harakiri
    36. the man who shot liberty valance
    35. cool hand luke
    34. the naked kiss
    33. far from the madding crowd
    32. oh dem watermelons
    31. the misfits
    30. the silence

    29. an autumn afternoon
    28. night of the living dead
    27. putney swope
    26. trans-europ-express
    25. man's favorite sport?
    24. through a glass darkly
    23. the libertine
    22. who's afraid of virginia woolf?
    21. high and low
    20. sword of doom
    19. mothlight
    18. the house is black
    17. the naked island
    16. yesterday girl
    15. the gospel according to st. matthew
    14. go go second time virgin
    13. black girl

    12. funeral parade of roses
    11. the great silence
    10. the trouble with angels
    9. nothing but a man
    8. andrei rublev
    7. seconds
    6. the night of the iguana
    5. ivan's childhood
    4. west side story
    3. daisies
    2. woman in the dunes
    1. red beard
    Wednesday, January 14th, 2015
    9:48 pm
    Wednesday, December 31st, 2014
    12:04 am
    2014 in film
    i aimed to slow down on my film viewing this year, after last year's marathon. but honestly, i couldn't stop myself. i have formed a habit. also, it's a strong coping mechanism. demons get quieter when the movie is playing.

    letterboxd has, in some ways, supplanted lj for me. i still love lj and will post here til i or the site dies, but i write for letterboxd.

    let me back up. i just spent a few hours reading about legend of korra and that kid who killed herself and left that suicide note about being transgender on tumblr. i dug into various interpretations and readings of the show's bisexual ending, and i read the suicide note over and over. i found myself reading about the writers and artists on the show, and the fan community, and a cathartic wave hit me. the kid who committed suicide, of course, triggered dark thoughts of kaylie. tonight has been a desperate exploration of surrogate emotional moments.

    a week ago, two of my players said they might need to sit out my next campaign. a month or so before that, another player expressed that he was having trouble making it to games because of other relationship obligations. i have two other players who i cannot predict whether they will arrive at game or not. roleplaying has been such a focal point of my life until june 2013 that it filled my need for community. it has been my comfort zone, the realm wherein i and my closest friends dwelled together. now it feels like it is falling apart, a process probably begun long before, probably when kaylie began pulling away from it emotionally. maybe before that. i don't know. (this is no slight against any of my players, simply an exploration of my fears. don't take this personally.)

    i spent last week with my family, and i returned to new orleans surprisingly refreshed. it was a decent holiday. no major fights. no tensions that i felt. we seemed to enjoy each other's company. i felt connected, without qualification. i felt comfortable, more or less. it was something i deeply needed. then that suicide note dug up all my painful disconnection again, this knowledge of certain loneliness. so i sought out something that made me feel that weird mix of painful yearning and hope for something more. i've put on the clancy brothers and sung along quietly. i've dwelled on memories of togetherness.

    because i feel simultaneously that that is lacking in my life right now, and that i am losing the greatest of support structures i've had. when kaylie died, i was terrified in part that it would destroy my roleplaying group. now, other, less dark turns of life are threatening it again. i feel compelled to find other forms of support.

    i have lots of friends locally, and online, but a combination of my general inability to communicate my emotional needs in person, the basic truth that all of this is more or less too embarrassing to admit in person, and you know, just life, means that these are not entirely a suitable replacement--and i don't really want to replace it. but because losing kaylie signified an unraveling of a certain amount of support, i turned to something new:

    letterboxd. and film. and writing about film. because, apparently, people like it when i do, and they respond. it's not really the new livejournal. it's not roleplaying. it's not even random forums where i've made connections, nor have i made as deep connections there as i might need. but i have been able to be myself to a degree there that i have never been elsehwere, simply because i am in a new, completely new environment where most of them don't know me, and the few that do aren't, say, family--ironically, the group that most recently made me feel most comfortable is the one i am most afraid of connecting to.

    for the last 18 months, i've put so much energy into letterboxd and film-viewing. at first, it was just a coping mechanism (and still is), but it's slowly growing to be something more. hopefully.

    i already linked to my AOV list, which explains my project of the year or so from kaylie's death. i have watched many, many films since i completed that project, and many fo the films on that list, i watched last year. but in that list, i explain that it was funeral parade of roses where i found my voice again. a more recent film that created a fundamental shift, another moment of clarity, was madchen in uniform (review). it was certainly a precursor to the emotional impact of legend of korra as well. i won't give up the mantle of bisexual, but i am certainly prepared to say that i feel most comfortable as a woman largely attracted to women. if only i could shave enough to make that seem more real to me.

    (similarly, beyonce's "flawless" resonated with me belatedly. i wrote about it and fat girl here.)

    another film that moved me profoundly this year was chain (review), which continues to echo in my mind. as much as i love my job, there are moments i feel like i need to do more. not necessarily as in doing more for the world, but more for my creative side. i have struggled with this urge for a long time, but this idea of being defined by, being controlled by work and currency is galling and frustrating, and dreams of finding a creative outlet that also supports me financially looms ominously. it's a step i am not ready to take, and yet, one that i have to take, i fear. or wither away.

    every film i watched for the first time this year, ranked.

    letterboxd's year in review feature.

    top ten (for those who can't open the link):
    1. l'ange
    2. madchen in unfiorm
    3. looking for langston
    4. crime wave [paisz]
    5. quince tree of the sun
    6. strangers in good company
    7. 35 rhums
    8. high hopes
    8. moolaade
    10. chain

    top ten moments from the year:
    10. "roses were her favorite flowers. they had to be artificial, too." - funeral parade of roses
    9. crossing no-man's land in paths of glory.
    8. "we are all to blame for everything, but if everyone knew it, we'd have paradise on earth." - yesterday girl
    7. colle resists the beating from her husband in moolaade.
    6. the shower scene in stagefright.
    5. "I CAN'T STAND THE QUIET" in simple men.
    4. the lice boxes in third part of the night.
    3. "i loved my friend" poem by langston hughes in looking for langston.
    2. the son gives his dead father his socks in the second circle.
    1. the goodnight kiss in madchen in uniform.

    most popular reviews of 2014:

    my favorite reviews of my own from 2014 (incomplete list):
    Monday, December 29th, 2014
    11:00 am
    jesus on the mainline
    for the last few weeks, i have randomly been getting text messages from a number i don't recognize. it's a local number, and every text is a long rant about christian religion. i periodically delete my texts, because my flip phone only holds so many, so the only ones i still have are the first one (which i saved in order to eventually investigate, but then decided to just let them keep coming) and the most recent one, received at 10:49 a.m. central time today.

    i have shared these with random people who happen to be present when i get them--mostly my coworker, because i often get them while at work--and no one else has said they receive such things. i hesitate to respond back asking who is sending these. if i had to guess, it's either

    (a) a wrong number that goes uncorrected because i don't respond.
    (b) an old roommate or acquaintance who i deleted from my phone.
    (c) extremely weird spam.
    (d) some church list i somehow got on.

    there might be a more sensible answer, but it's not coming to me.

    it's clearly someone with a wrong number, but they don't seem to update it even after i once told them it was wrong.

    they are not very effective proselytizing, if for no other reason than that they are nonsensical and badly written. i don't chuckle over the religious content, but the near gibberish these sometimes effect is amusing. i have no intention of correcting this mistake. here, for the sake of keeping a record, are the two i currently have. i will update this as they come in, i think. i am italicizing the quotes but otherwise not changing a single thing about them, the errors are all from the sender.

    You ever wonder why GOD waited so long to take HIS CHILDREN out of Egypt, God was waiting for them to cry out ot HIM,, grone to the LORD. WHAT EVER YOU GOING THROUGH, HE'S waiting on you, call out to HIM, DADDY GOD .I ,WE NEED YOU.GOD WANTS YOU TO CRY OUT TO HIM. ABBA FATHER MEAN DADDY GOD!!! :-)

    We are not tempted by the enemy because we are evil, we are tempted because we are human GOD'S BELOVED IN THE BELOVE. Jesus was tempted also, so JESUS UNDERSTANDS. JUST DO WHAT JESUS DID, "SAY IT IS WRITTEN. Sometime GOD give us immediate deliverance or HE SUSTAND US HE GUILD US though it, makes us overcommers and more then conqueres!!! Trust HIM.

    12-29-14 (NIGHT TIME EDITION! this is a first):
    (((GOD KNOWS WHAT HE IS DOING ))) If you would stay in Faith, one day you will say it was good I got push out of that job, or I would have been stuck in a limited invironment, or it was good that person left me or I would not have met the love of my life, it was good I went through that difficulty it not only made me stronger it developed a Greater confident in GOD, GOD was putting me in position for something BIGER, SOMETHING BETTER, SOMETHING GREATER !!! :-)

    Every person go through unfair difficult times, But if you keep passing the test ,doing the right thing when the wrong thing is happening, (((keep the faith ))) after ward you will come out Promoted, increase, stronger , healthier ,Blessed with great abundance. GOD uses these problem to bring about the Promise. GOD IS GOING TO BRING YOU OUT BETTER. HE ALLOWED THAT DIFFICULTY not to defeat you but to PROMOTE YOU. Sometime what we think is a set back in life really is a SETUP FOR GOD TO DO SOMETHING REAT IN YOUR LIFE!!! :-)

    12-31-14, 12:07 p.m.:
    Hello, You understood the two texts I sent you ?

    to which I responded "Yes."

    12-31-14, 9:00 p.m.:

    ((( NEWS FLASH FROM HEAVEN ))) This is who we are !!! We are not sick trying to get Healed ,we are Healed , fighting off sickness, We are not poor trying to get wealthy ,no no we are Wealthy fighting off property ,we are not the tail trying to be the Head we are the Head fighting off the tail. We are the GOD,S WORD say that we are , Just do like JESUS TAUGHT US , SAY OUT LOUD ," IT IS WRITTEN , and these atacks from the enemy will Flee !!! WOW .MY HEADACHE IS GONE !!!

    Hebrews 10:17)))GOD SAID, Their (Our) sins and Our lawless deeds I will remember no more -- This is the good news to the believer . GOD see all our sins --> Past ,Present and Future and say," Your sins I remember no more. But GOD DID remember our sins 2,000 years ago at the cross. Every sin which we have committed or will commit has been punish in the full in the BODY OF JESUS AT THE CROSS. Now , WE ARE FREE , This is the GOOD NEWS , GOD'S LOVE FOR US. Now Enjoy life !!! :-):-):-)

    01-04-15, 2:10 p.m.:
    I GOT CALLED! whoever this is called me and asked for a name I can't now remember. I told them they had the wrong number, and they hung up. I hope the texts don't stop.

    01-06-15: The texts did not stop.
    You ever wonder why some people can have good home , good finance, children doing good and saved ,but still feel hollow in the inside . This may be because they want the good FRUITS , BUT PAYING LITTLE ATTENTION TO THE ROOT JESUS. Peter fish all night and didn't catch anything , Than something happen , THE ONE WHO MADE THE FISH AND PUT THE FISH IN THE SEA SHOWED UP AND SAID, go back out there and cast your nets on the right side of the boat. Then the hollowness in the inside was filled with JOY JOY JOY !!! :-):-):-)

    Hello , how yell doing , do yall want to go to bible study tonight .

    You have heard the saying ," The True shall set you free , But this saying is not true . Listen, Its the True that you know and believe will set you Free. Example, If a wife love her husband ( vis Verser) but the husband do not know or believe that , not believing or knowing this , he or she will act insecure. Now the true is she love you , but it do you no good if you don't know or believe it .For GOD SO LOVED THE WORLD THAT HE GAVE HIS ONLY BEGOTTEN SON , AND WHO SOEVER BELIEVE IN HIM (JESUS) SHALL HAVE EVERLASTIN LIFE. BUT IF YOU DON'T KNOW OR BELIEVE THIS TRUETH , IT WON'T SET YOU FREE , and do you no good !!!

    In Isaiah 54:4 Surely He (( JESUS )) Borne our Griefs and carried our sorrows --> Know that the word Griefs are Sorrow here mean ,"SICKNESS and PAINS so Isaiah was referring to physical healing . JESUS told a man with leprosy in (Matthew 8:302),"" I AM WILLING BE CLEANED HEALED.

    (((You are already Blessed.))) Believe This, GOD is more willing to bless you than you are willing to be blessed. Do you know that though JESUS was Rich , yet HE became poor that you may be rich. In JESUS you are poor no no no more. So stop looking at that lack in your natural resources . Look to the Cross and say Because of JESUS FINISH WORK , I can expect to walk in all of HIS BLESSING. ((( READ WHAT GOD SAID TO JOSHUS AND HIS PEOPLE IN JOSHUS 24:13 , HE'S TALKING TO YOU. GOD IS A GIVER !!! :-):-):-)

    Martin Luther King ,lead a movement of Non Violent . He was spit on and didn't fight back, punch in the face, didn't fight back, beaten and put in jail , ButHE told his followers if you want to be a part of this movement you must be NON Violent . Right now who on earth would take that with out physically fighting back , Oh , There ONE, HIS NAME IS JESUS THE LORD. Remember HE TOLD PETER TO PUT HIS SWORD UP ".JESUS WAS IN MARTIN LUTHER KING LEADING THE WAY. THE MOVEMENT STARTED FROM WTIHIN THE CHURCH . JESUS USED THE CHURCH to get it started .

    In Sodom and Gomorrah , GOD was not on a sin hunt , but a righteousness hunt. Remember Abraham ask if there were 10 righteous would GOD spare the city. Today GOD is not judging us , Because HE has found One Righteous Man JESUS . So don't let any one tell you GOD punishes you with cancer , car accident , brokenness . GOD would be unjust if HE punish the same sins twice in JESUS BODY AND THEN IN YOURS . THIS IS THE GOOD NEWS !!! THIS IS WHAT SET YOU FREE KNOWING THAT GOD IS NOT BAD WITH YOU !!!:-)

    God does not want your heart full of worries and fear, tossed by every chanleage that comes your way. The breakthrough don't depend on your ability to obey GOD , than your heart will not be at rest, but full of worries and anxieties. WHY? BECAUSE you can never obey GOD PERFECTLY. BUT when you depend on GOD'S GRACE, HIS UNDESERVED UNMERITED FAVOR IS YOURS. WE don't trust in our ability to keep the law but JESUS PEERFECT OBEDIENCE FOR US .(((Hebrews 8:12))

    Have you ever been in a situation that feels like everything is comming against you ? We all have , But GOD, GOD SAID," FEAR NOT , STAND STILL AND SEE THE SALVATION OF THE LORD (((WORD))) WORK FOR YOU !!! Just Stretched out your hands to the LORD , like Moses did. WOW!!! ALWAYS REMEMBER WE SERVE GOD OUR FATHER WHO ALWAYS WANTS TO BE OUR HERO IN OUR LIFE , AND HE IS !!!:-) AMEN .

    01-28-15, 8:56 p.m.:
    He called and I hit ignore.

    (((NEW FLASH))) THERE A FLASH FLOOD WARNING IN YOUR AREA !!! A flood of GOD'S Goodness , things has shifted , with a Flood of GOD'S FAVOR . The Flood Gates are open. GOD going to do something AWESOME for you, any movement now. Just Believe !!! A Flood of Restoration is comming your way like a Tile Wave , WOW . NOW WE GOT TO EXPECT A FLOOD OF GOD'S FAVOR. DON'T BELIEVE TOO SMALL , WE HAVE A BIG GOD. A WAVE OF INCREASE IS HEADED YOUR WAY.YOU ARE THE APPLE OF GOD'S EYE, RELEASE YOUR FAITH, JUST BELIEVE !!!:-) IN JESUS NAME !!!

    01-28-15: (duplicate of the day before)
    (((NEW FLASH))) THERE A FLASH FLOOD WARNING IN YOUR AREA !!! A flood of GOD'S Goodness , things has shifted , with a Flood of GOD'S FAVOR . The Flood Gates are open. GOD going to do something AWESOME for you, any movement now. Just Believe !!! A Flood of Restoration is comming your way like a Tile Wave , WOW . NOW WE GOT TO EXPECT A FLOOD OF GOD'S FAVOR. DON'T BELIEVE TOO SMALL , WE HAVE A BIG GOD. A WAVE OF INCREASE IS HEADED YOUR WAY.YOU ARE THE APPLE OF GOD'S EYE, RELEASE YOUR FAITH, JUST BELIEVE !!!:-) IN JESUS NAME !!!


    01-30-15, 1:28 p.m.:
    He called and I hit ignore.

    When you help others to succeed in their dreams, GOD will help you succeed in yours , When you feed others , GOD feed you. When you get down low to help someone , GOD get down low to help you. GOD didn't call us to judge people , HE called us to RESTORE PEOPLE, TO BE THEIR MIRACLE. YOU are full of Miracles. Take time to be a Miracle , a Hero in JESUS NAME FOR SOMEONE. Our real assignment begin after we leave the Church building and share GOD'S LOVE WITH OTHERS!!! AMEN

    When you read a book and the book is Not clean , Negative , or Bitter you are drinking somebody else bitterness . YOU have to be wash with the WORD OF GOD (Water). If a piece of gold get dirty in the mud , its still is Gold , it just have to be wash with Water ((( The WORD OF GOD))).We are what we are by the GRACE OF GOD AND NOTHING IS STRONGER THAN THE GRACE OF GOD.

    On Sunday, we hear a message that say,"I am the righteousness of GOD in CHRIST , SO Monday we confess that , But comes Wednesday or Thursday we begin to confess our sins , then when Sunday comes we start confessing our righteousness in CHRIST AGAIN.WHY DO WE DO THIS ? IT CAN NOT BE ON Sunday we are righteous, then a few days later we become unrighteous because of sin. NO our righteousness is everlasting righteousness . Its not what you do that makes you righteous BUT WHAT CHRIST HAS DONE AT CALVARY for you !!! AMEN

    Ever wonder why two people can hear the same thing and yet have different response ? When Goliath taunted Israel for 40 days then Davis show up and heard the same taunting just like the Israelites heard. But the same words that cause fear to Israelites , ANGERED DAVID. David felt differently because he knew he had a COVENANT with GOD , Now, King Saul and the Israelites had the same covenant with GOD, BUT ONLY DAVID BELIEVED THE COVENANT and he acted on his belief . GOD IS ASKING, WHERE IS THE DAVIDS WHO WILL BELIEVE THE NEW COVENANT OF GRACE? SAY HERE IAM LORD ! AMAN.
    Sunday, December 28th, 2014
    12:53 am
    2014 in television
    my 15 favorite moments of television that i saw this year:

    15. transparent is okay.
    14. my roommate reads rizzoli and isles fan fiction for some reason, a lot.
    13. "too many cooks" was funny for five minutes or so.
    12. i failed to watch mad men, but i saw a clip of the song and dance routine burt cooper does.
    11. i dunno, insert a great, bizarre line from louise from bob's burgers here.
    10. the archer vice intro.
    09. i rewatched the wire season 2 and twin peaks season 1.
    08. prince debuts his third eye on snl and makes guitar wanking fashionable again, briefly. DEJA VU.
    07. i should really be watching more cartoons.
    06. dipper and wendy talk about his crush on her and move on with grace in gravity falls.
    05. rachel gets art's position after he's shot in justified.
    04. they announced that new twin peaks would be coming in 2016.
    03. mason verger eats his own nose in hannibal.
    02. community got picked up for a sixth season at the last possible moment.
    01. korra and asami walk, hand in hand, into the spirit world, looking lovingly into each other's eyes at the end of the legend of korra.
    Thursday, December 25th, 2014
    2:11 pm
    merry christmas
    i got you all handjobs.
    Saturday, December 13th, 2014
    5:26 pm
    the year in music
    here follows the 25 most important events in music history this year:

    25. the pirate bay is shut down again, inconveniencing millions of fans of easy to find music.
    24. prince premiers his third eye on network television and makes guitar wanking briefly fashionable again.
    23. bohren und der club of gore release a new album, which you might get through before the end of the year if you started before it was released. it's still faster than that new album sleep did this year.
    22. eyehategod released a new album that had joey lacaze still on it. in other metal news, the french convicted varg vikernes of being an asshole.
    21. an obnoxious white guy punched an obnoxious white kid who makes music. people laughed at a child getting punched, which tells you how awful that child is.
    20. some opening act, somewhere, broke up, and only their mothers cared.
    19. beyonce released an album in 2013.
    18. aphex twin rented a blimp.
    17. "werid al" yankovic (quotation marks still obligatory) made "blurred lines" palatable by referencing livejournal in the video and codifying what we've always said about prince's spelling idiosyncracies.
    16. paddy mcguigan died, as did tommy ramone. and gerry goffin. and gary burger. frankie knuckles died, as did dj ez-rock. and paco de lucia. and bobby womack. and nicky da b. jimmy ruffin died, and natty brooker. as did tabby thomas. pete singer died, and no one got any money for all that music he stole. jean redpath died, and gosh, i felt bad. (also, people felt bad for mick jagger.)
    15. t-swift sheds the last vestiges of twang that no one noticed much anyway.
    14. killer mike and el-p are interviewed by the a.v. club about el-p's love of steven seagal.
    13. lucille bogan turned 117.
    12. u2 actually fucking apologizes, but not for what we really wanted them to apologize for.
    11. lil jon did an AMA on reddit and it was exactly like you'd expect it to be.
    10. wata became a fashion model? whaaaat is that about?
    09. sunn o))) and scott walker became the new "in" power couple, ya know?
    08. mckeown's books and difficult music closed down on tchops, and before they went, they had a show with the guy from borbetomagus (again).
    07. i listened to several hours of erik satie.
    06. kid rock was subpoenaed to produce a glass dildo given to him by i.c.p.
    05. big freedia had a reality show.
    04. GWAR died and was reborn, fulfilling the prophecies of gg allin.
    03. harry belafonte continued living, making it somehow all right to be alive still.
    02. cosimo matassa died. the foundation of all music trembled.
    01. YOB released another album.
    Thursday, December 4th, 2014
    7:55 am
    monkey on my back
    the part that is haunting me right now is where i can't remember the good things about myself.
    Tuesday, November 25th, 2014
    8:17 pm
    old considerations
    is sandy denny the best?
    3:14 pm
    i went to a protest at lee circle. protesting racism at lee circle is a bit strange, but it's a good place for traffic, i suppose. the new york times, wwl, and a few other news outlets were there, but the crowd was probably only 30 strong. i am a bit camera shy, so i'm afraid i wasn't an exemplary protester. still, there was passion in those that showed up, and the crowd was anything but monochromatic. the highlight was hearing two older african-american gentlemen engage in a spirited debate about the solutions to the issues at hand (in front of the NYT guy, who scribbled like crazy). this wasn't just some vanity exericse for occupy kids, thank god. the protest then traveled a bit, and people we passed joined the chanting. it ended nonclimatically, inevitably. no one was in charge except those who chose to lead. no one got hurt. the cops we passed seemed amused, but that's better than the alternative.

    on the way home, my shifters died. just gave up. i stopped in a bike shop on the way. they suggested locking the shifters until i can afford to replace them. after i clear rent and christmas presents, i'll dig into the "get me a new computer fund" to get them replaced. it looked for a minute like this would be a major issue--not having a bike means rearranging my entire life trying to find a new way to get to work. still, problems are in perspective here.

    what this means is, though, that i am not going to the rally tonight. a late night ride is not the time to get used to a new bike configuration. it makes me too nervous. there will however continue to be protests, rallies, and sigils here for the next week or so. i hope it keeps going forever.
    Wednesday, October 29th, 2014
    6:47 pm

    helpe me find all the most fucked up movies ever so i can watch them?
    Monday, October 27th, 2014
    10:27 pm
    if i write about myself enough online, i will stop physically existing and can start being whomever i wish to be.
    Tuesday, October 21st, 2014
    11:02 pm
    ello goodbye
    ello didn't last very long, now did it? i mean, it's still there. some of you are still using it, i bet. but not very many. need a space to share my thoughts? well, i got it right here.

    my thoughts:


    thanks for taking the time to listen.
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